"He unplugged my clock for a novelty lamp." -- Bernard (Doug)
"Hey, guess who has two thumbs and the keys to your office. *thumbs at
self* Me." -- Howard (Ken)
*NPC knocks Howard out*
"I don't know who you are, but thank you." -- Doctor Cauks (Fox)
"Oh look, you've got a flash light. How cute." -- Howard (Ken)
"Oh look, you've got a fat lip. How cute." -- Doctor Cauks (Fox)
"Space blobs are obviously communists." -- Howard (Ken)
"It's Freeball Friday!" -- Doug
"*on phone* I'm sorry, ma'am... sir... mir. I'll go get 'im. *hangs up*" --
Howard (Ken)
"He hands you back one of your shoes without laces." -- Bailey
"Good thing it's velcro!" -- Eoj
"Was there a little club called the, uh...*Ken looks to Luna for help*" --
Howard (Ken)
"Secret." -- Luna
"Secret..." -- Howard (Ken)
"Snake." -- Luna
"Snake..." -- Howard (Ken)
"Society." -- Luna
"Society...d'oh!" -- Howard (Ken)
*Ken wangs Luna in the head with a pencil*
"Formless shapeless tentacled mass ate my Mexican!" -- Howard (Ken)
"Maybe it's some sort of post-traumatic--" -- Robin (Ed)
"God I love farting!" -- Howard (Ken)
"Okay, you're laying in bed asleep..." -- Bailey
"Suddenly you're raped!" -- Eoj
"Those are huge chesticles!" -- Eoj
"Kirk. He's just a figment of our imaginations all together." -- Doug
"That would explain why he's so fuckin' weird." -- Fox
"Go back to your four students!" -- Howard (Ken)
"Three, actually." -- Shay (Joe)
"What happened to the fourth?" -- Howard (Ken)
"Poor bastard... Anyway..." -- Shay (Joe)
*upon seeing Tsathoggua in person*
"That's the biggest bear I've ever seen!" -- Shay (Joe)
"That bear has a gun! Wait a minute, bears don't use guns!" -- Shay (Joe)
"Kneel before me, humans!" -- Tsathoggua (NPC)
"You're not a bear!" -- Shay (Joe)
"Shouldn't you be kneeling?" -- Tsathoggua (NPC)
"You have strange visceral images." -- Bailey
"I'm God!" -- Shay (Joe)
"I shot a guy in the face!" -- Ken
*Luna sneezes*
*Bailey sneezes*
"Anyone else wanna get one out before we start?" -- Fox
*Doug mimes masturbating*
"What're you wearing?" -- Doctor Cauks (Fox), on the phone with Howard
"Shut up, Bambi." -- Doctor Cauks (Fox)
"Bambi always makes me cry." -- Bernard (Doug)
"Shut up, Newbie." -- Doctor Cauks (Fox)
"I'll make you cry." -- Mahoney (Luna)
"Shut up, Bambi." -- Doctor Cauks (Fox)
"*picks up phone* I'd like one with everything." -- Howard (Ken)
"You just called an escort service." -- Luna
"He's a -technical term for it- pansy." -- Doctor Cauks (Fox)
"Next time she starts freaking out, open her mouth, throw a bunch of pills at
her. Whatever sticks, that's the right amount to give her." -- Doctor Cauks
(Fox)
"Always make sure to bring a burkha!" -- Kirk
"Ah, towelie-ban." -- Fox
"Fourteen inch-long penis." -- Fox
"What?" -- Luna