"Fuck me running!" -- Fox
"I am the definition of definition! *flexes poorly*" -- Eoj
"It's shorts weather for me. Course every weather is shorts weather." --
Luna
"Every weather is sweatpants weather for me." -- Doug
"He calls him oddly dressed and there's a shirtless luchador standing next to
me." --Sage (Luna)
*regarding a pinprick hole in a corpse*
"It was a vampire. With one tooth." --Laurel (Doug)
"I can't eat until after midnight. It's Lent. Let the contest begin again!" --
Doug
"I'll get you this time, Jesus!" -- Fox
"Hour and a half in and Bailey's already got an Elven chick hot." -- Doug
"Bye, man-package!" -- Tordek (Fox)
"I am Laurel Nignor The Hardy." -- Doug
"I just got it. Laurel the Hardy." -- Luna
"Say your name again without the uppercut." -- Elgren (Bailey)
"Guevara Lucharo! *punching motions*" -- Guevara (Eoj)
"Can you say that without moving your arms?" -- Sage (Luna)
"Guevara Lucharo! *jumps*" -- Guevara (Eoj)
"That's the weirdest speech impediment I've ever seen!" -- Sage (Luna)
"Dude, dude! My attack bonus is dancing." -- Luna
"Take mason jars. You got any jars, Bailey?" -- Fox
*Bailey is a Mason, y'see.*
*Ken shows pic of Lurking Strangler*
"It's got a pretzel in the middle." -- Bailey
"Is that what Aunt Anne looks like?" -- Doug
*Fox opens a Capri Sun and it leaks all over*
"I'M PEEING, I'M PEEING! FUCK!" -- Fox
"Basically they're evil archaeologists." --Ken
"One of the beetles has a ring around its body." --Ken
"John, Paul, George, or Ringo?" -- Bailey
"Dwarves don't breathe rocks!" -- Sage (Luna)
"Yes they do. See? *sniffs a rock*" -- Tordek (Fox)
"You just sniffed it! Put that in your lungs! Do it! I'm calling you out,
Tordek!" -- Sage (Luna)
*Laurel pulls a out mushroom component to cure*
"Really big mushroom, forcing it down your throat." -- Doug
"I have no snappy repsonse to that." -- Sage (Luna)
"Take that away from Bailey before he makes more fail." -- Fox
"I just imagined Doug putting that box on his head and saying, 'I'm gonna
fuck this box.'" -- Ken
"Can you tell me where my friend the pig is?" --Laurel (Doug)
"I hope you drown." -- Tordek (Fox)
"I hope you drown on my dick." -- Sage (Luna)
"I'd prefer if you didn't touch my hog, boy." -- Laurel (Doug)
"Tordek, I didn't know you had a forge in your house! 'I don't, my wife's in
heat!'" -- Doug
"Balthazar was captured by Belbar Smenk." -- Ken
"And nothing of value was lost." -- Fox
"I'd rather die of cancer than be fat." -- Kirk
*Ken glares*
"This isn't a beer gut, it's a fuel tank for the sex machine. Right, hon?" -- Kirk
"Kill me." -- C.T.
"It's shriveled down and gone back into my throat." -- Eoj
"It's a key! There's no blade on it!" -- Eoj, on keyblades
"It's a club! A keyclub! But it's not called that because nobody wanted to join
Key Club because nobody knows what it does!" -- Luna, on keyblades and
high school clubs
"N***a Meowth earned that bike. The bike of SPEECH!" -- Doug
*Fox pours Dr Pepper into his McDonalds cup and drinks*
"That's not Coke!" -- Fox
"Maybe that's what woke me up in the fucking morning." -- Bailey
"Fucking is right; we didn't stop 'til mid-afternoon!" --Doug
"Beat the shit out of his kid: Take that, Edge!" --Doug, on the Benoit family
murders
"Hey Luna: Transformers plus Walker, Texas Ranger. Truck Norris!" -- Doug
"Why did the troll turn me into a football and then a fruit snack?" -- Sage
(Luna)
"Your moose is bland and tasteless. I suggest you buy a new one." --Jacer
(Fox)
"I throw a piece of wood at the chest." -- Fox
"It hits it and clanks off. What the fuck?" -- Ken
"It could be a mimic." -- Fox
"Like I'd use a mimic. Really." -- Ken, who just used three mimics not five
minutes prior.
"I open my backpack." -- Luna
"Meow!" -- Link, Eoj's cat
"What's the cat doing in your bag?" -- Doug
"Let word of that go across the land." -- Ken
"Dexter's a cookie!" -- Doug
"Does he know about fourth breakfast? No, I don't think he knows." -- Eoj
"I've been here for days!" -- Sage (Luna)
"Quick, does anyone have some cock?!" -- Luna
"You're both dopplegangers and you're-- Fuckin' A!" -- Jacer (Fox)
"I coulda had a d8! *facepalm*" -- Luna
"Do we wanna go to Shiloh's first communion next Sunday?" -- Ken
"Jesus Christ!" -- Eoj
"Literally." -- Bailey
"Oh, the Belt of One Mighty Blow. Sounds like a choker to me." -- Fox
*on PCs and Pokemon*
"Only Jeanne and Anti-Jeanne use Harden." -- Doug
"Anti-Jeanne uses Defense Curl-- no, Withdraw!" -- Luna
"Nicola's first boyfriend didn't use Withdraw." -- Doug
"I hate you." -- Fox
"Alright, Luna left! I can fart with impunity." -- Bailey
"Jake never got to Cleave a vampire with his penis." -- Doug
"He's Cleavin' angels now." -- Luna
"That is an abomination. *points at Maxima*" -- NPC
"I know, right?" -- Jacer
"No, no, no, I'm gonna go watch those people have sex." -- Jacer (Fox)
"Just because I like it in the pooper doesn't make me some kind of deviant!"
-- Sage (Luna)
"There's a squirrel in my brain!" -- Maxima (Eoj)
*Undead turns, opens door, leaves*
"He closes the door behind him." -- Ken
"*radio announcer voice* What a dick!" -- Eoj
"But Ken, Sixpack Crapper was the best mini ever!" -- Luna
"I'm half man, half amazing, and one third bad at math!" -- Eoj
*Jacer has been reincarnated in a female body, now going by Jasa*
"I need to go back to camp." -- Jacea (Fox)
"I think she wants to explore herself." -- Sage (Luna)
"You can have your menses later." -- Elgren (Bailey)
"Laurel! I won't stop bleeding! What have you done?!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"Put a towel in there!" -- Laurel (Doug)
"Oh got, it won't stop!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"Put a turnicate on it!" -- Laurel (Doug)
"I think the Reincarnate's wearing off!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"Mecca lecca hi mecca hiney ho--MUSHOOM!" --Laurel (Doug), casting
Reincarnate
"*points at Doug's chest* Hefty hefty hefty! *points at self* Wimpy wimpy
wimpy!" -- Fox
"I'm goin' to makeout point." -- Jacea (Fox)
"Alone." -- Luna
"Yeah, gimme that mirror. *holds up hand* How does it go? *makes the
shocker with his hand, aims downward, moves hand downward*" -- Jacea
(Fox)
"Aaaanyway..." -- Elgren (Bailey)
"OOH! That is shocking!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"He's kinda misty." -- Ken
"Like the gym leader." -- Eoj
"Oh God, then he's wearing hot pants!" -- Luna
"And we owe him a bike!" -- Fox
"You miss him by one." -- Ken
"I kick him in the nuts." -- Eoj
"I've been such a pussy since I grew one." -- Jacea (Fox)
"Hey Luna: Killer fish barber. Sweeny Cod!" -- Doug
*Sage has an English accent, and has been deafened*
"Why are you Australian?" -- Jacea (Fox)
"I'm deaf and English." -- Sage (Luna)
"So...Australian!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"It seems like some kind of burial chamber." -- Ken
"Triple H must be here!" -- Eoj
"Handy-dandy notebook." -- Doug
"Shut the fuck up!" -- Fox
"If you don't tell Doug to shut the fuck up every once in a while, he starts to
say really terrifying things. It's like beating your child for no reason, just to
keep him in line." -- Fox
*on ordering Chinese food*
"Who ordered a steamy dump?" -- Fox
"You short, grey cum dumpster." -- Elgren (Bailey), to Sage
"He remains unconscious until something special happens." -- Ken, on Sage
"Alustan, get on that." -- Bailey
"Tordek's dead." -- Fox
"At least I died with my pistachio!" -- NPC Demon, whose mini was clutching
a pistachio nut
"*to Fox* I'm gonna take Luna and shove it up your ass." -- Bailey
"What did I just get dragged into?" -- Luna
"My ass." -- Fox
"Does Doug often wet your pants?" -- Luna
"Often directly." -- Fox
"I'm Asian, duh!" -- Doug
"Little known fact: Behind Doug's chair is a glass table." -- Fox
"Assembles in just five minutes." -- Doug
"Which is just enough time to fluff me." -- Fox
"I'll play three faggot stanley!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"I'm sure ol' Bessy'll..." -- Rook (NPC)
"Do not fuck my horse." -- Jacea (Fox)
"I was talkin' 'bout that ox-woman over there." -- Rook (NPC)
"Moo, bitch." -- Luna
"Buffalo girl won't you come out tonight?" -- Doug
"I'm gonna make Doug a candy wife." -- Fox
"Me too." -- Ken
"We'll make two so he can be a candy bigot." -- Fox
"Bigot? You mean bigamist?" -- Luna
"No, he'll hate licorice." -- Ken
"That plant's telling me to kill my friends." -- Jacea (Fox)
*Sage looks scared and shocked*
"I'm not gonna do it." -- Jacea (Fox)
"Guess what! *burping* Grape ape likes rape." -- Fox
"You could lay in the ocean and put a sail on that thing." -- Jacea (Fox),
talking about Sage's dick
"This is a D&D game! There are no toilets!" -- Sage (Luna)
"Just use the pit!" -- Jacea (Fox)
"I'm afraid something will jump up and eat my ass." -- Sage (Luna)
"You never complained before." -- Jacea (Fox)
"I haven't seen that many dead black guys in a movie since Mississippi
Burning." -- Kirk
"Yes, I can tell, 'cause it fingered me to death." -- Luna
(Elgren has a major red dragon bloodline.)
"I just imagine Elgren reading The Scarlet Letter and going, 'That's racist.'"
-- Bailey
"You can't get a woman pregnant if she's on top." -- Doug
"No, you just do your spike damage." -- Ken
"Share. But do not Sonny." -- Luna
"But I like Sonny better than Cher." -- Doug
"But Sonny's dead!" -- Fox & Luna
"Three hours away from Philadelphia there's a town called Myanus." -- Eoj
"Myanus is really good." -- Luna
"I wonder if they advertise. Come to Myanus! Come in Myanus!" -- Fox
"Too bad it's not a fishing community. Come shrimp in Myanus!" -- Doug
"There's tons of crabs in Myanus." -- Fox
"There's good eatin' in Myanus!" -- Luna
"There's plenty of parking in Myanus! I found a big fish in Myanus! Drive
through Myanus. I wonder if there's a pet store in Myanus. With lots of
small animals. 'Where'd you get that hamster?' 'Myanus.' I wanna get a
harpoon and stand outside of town and just use it to pull stuff out of Myanus.
I pulled this cat out Myanus. But it's dead, 'cause I harpooned it." -- Fox
"Nobody wants a cat in Myanus. Especially when it's in heat, 'cause then you
have cats running into Myanus at full force." -- Ken
"Never wanna have cats fucking in Myanus. Then you have kittens in
Myanus. The mayor of Myanus hates kittens. I wanna start a towing
company. Myanus towing. We'll haul stuff out of Myanus. I'll have it the
next town over. That way if you have to get out of Myanus..." -- Fox
"I'm sure there's a worms in Myanus joke in there..." -- Eoj
"Late at night nightcrawlers crawl out of Myanus." -- Fox
"*hums the X-Men theme*" -- Doug
(It's actually called Meanus, and it is actually a town in Connecticut.)
"Balucard? I wonder if he's Draculab's son." -- Luna
(Jacea gets turned back into a man (Jacer), after a lengthy stint as a
woman.)
"You're back in the line of fire, by the way." -- Sage (Luna)
"That's why I slept with one eye open." -- Jacer (Fox)
"And it wasn't the brown eye." -- Jacer (Fox) & Sage (Luna)
"You all look like hobos!" -- NPC
"Oi!" -- Sage (Luna)
"You look like a short, gay hobo." -- NPC
"These are my companions: Maxima, Laurel Nignor the Hardy, and Jacer...
*looks to Jacer* What the hell's your last name?" -- Sage (Luna), failing at
being diplomatic
"Yo, dawg, we heard you like cheese on your pizza, so we put cheese on your
pizza so..." -- Fox
"So you can eat cheese while you eat pizza." -- Luna
"It's turning you black." -- Sage (Luna)
"Oh god, your credit!" -- Fox
"Who voices Solid Snake?" -- Fox
"David Hayter." -- Luna
"I wanna see David Hayter and Ron Perlman get into a fistfight, and see who
gets it." -- Fox
(Do you get it?)
"Guess where I found this can." -- Bailey, holding up a can of green tea
"A garbage can?" -- Doug
"Close. A random parking lot in downtown Easton." -- Bailey
"You gonna drink it?" -- Doug
"Probably." -- Bailey
"We're making Dr. Rockso references and I'm like: could you stick me?" --
Ken
"Oh, we're all going to hell. Except Bailey, 'cause he didn't say anything." --
Doug
"Bailey's going to hell for entirely different reasons." -- Luna
"Impossibly fat dwarf with a rosy red nose and piggy eyes, dressed in
browns and reds." -- Ken
"So he's Santa." -- Eoj
"Wow, that eye roll told you a lot." -- Doug
"And his continence. Continence?" -- Ken
"Countenance." -- Luna
"And his continence. He's not peeing himself, so he's pretty okay." -- Ken
"It says Maxima Promethius III Esq., not Sage Frostsomething, Balthazar
That Guy, Druidfolk, and Dummy." -- Maxima (Eoj)
"Word of your ugliness has reached even me." -- NPC
"Can I pee off the Balcony of Expectorance? Is there a Balcony of
Urination? That needs to sound fancier. Urinationance?" -- Fox
"She does not have a target on her ass. Do not treat her like she does." --
Sage (Luna), to Elgren
"Sage! *jerks thumb at Lashona* I'm gonna fuck this bitch!" -- Jacer (Fox),
silently mouthing his words
"Hey, Strokey, back it up!" -- NPC
"Ork Jesus. He died for your Dakka." -- Doug
"God-dick-dammit!" -- Elgren (Bailey)
"Sexytime explosion all over face and chest." -- Kirk
"I am a ghost and therefore do not eat breakfast. It was spinach." -- Doug
"No, Dad, no! I'm sorry I didn't join the sportsball team!" -- Doug
"I'M GONNA HATE FUCK YOU ALL THE WAY To... to funkytown." -- Kirk
"Kirk's brain is Mad-Libs." -- Doug
"You have to think of time as an ellipses." -- Elgren
"They raped my sister." -- NPC
"Cool story, bro." -- Maxima (Eoj)
"It'd be like a field of puppies for the kickin'." -- Morgg (Kirk)
"Shadowstuff flailing off of it like... large testicles." -- Ken
"Can you call her 'Doug' during sex?" -- Doug
"No." -- Ken
"I'm not as good as Matt Bailey?" -- Doug
"He calls Matt Bailey 'Doug' during sex." -- Luna
"And I call Kimmel 'Cooper' and Cooper 'Kimmel'." -- Ken
"The next layout of Broken Gaming.com's gonna be Glove and X.D." -- Luna
"Making love." -- Ken
"Bow chika eww eww." -- Fox
"You're doomed to be Ric Flair in every game." -- Luna
"Somehow. I hate you all." -- Doug
"Who's the most badass motherfucker ever?" -- Fox
"*jerks thumb at self* This guy?" -- Doug
"*rolls dice* They're cocked. *rolls again* Still cocked." -- Eoj
"We're not talking about your ass." -- Kirk
"You can't move toward him." -- Ken
"That's kinda like..." -- Luna
"Antipathy?" -- Ken
"Flickerball." -- Luna
"Who put the bop in the bopshe-" -- Doug
"Nobody put the bop in the bopshebop." -- Fox
"But who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?" -- Luna
"Nobody. It was there when I got there. That's what I told the cops." -- Fox
"Yeah, that's why you hit me in the chest, because it hurts less, and not the
penis." -- Fox
"Three spears hit right in the back." -- Doug
"Better than in my chest." -- Fox
"Or your penis." -- Luna
"That's your hit point." -- Ken
"That's what Sage thinks." -- Luna
"That's his ass." -- Fox
"A little of column A, a little from column B." -- Luna
"A little of column Penis." -- Fox
"Ken, if I play a cleric of Priapus, can I summon the Great Dick In The Sky?"
-- Kirk
"You have a very thick swordish accent." -- Jacer (Fox)
"It's just a vortex of death and uncomfortable." -- Ken
"And funny-shaped chairs." -- Fox
"There's a mushroom floating around." -- Doug
"Something just bumped into my face." -- Sage (Luna)
"It felt kind of familiar." -- Ken
"Tis better to snatch a kiss than to kiss a snatch." -- Elgren (Bailey)
"I dunno..." -- Morgg (Kirk)
"I'll agree." -- Sage (Luna)
"Elf chicks taste like battery acid." -- Elgren (Bailey)
"They taste like berries and cream." -- Laurel (Doug)
"No, that's how Elven men taste." -- Sage (Luna)
"Dwarven women taste like coal." -- Laurel (Doug)
"They menstruate 10W40." -- Elgren (Bailey)
"I'm gonna put the helm of telepathy on and read Sage's thoughts." -- Jacer
(Fox)
"Penispenispenispenispenispenis." -- Luna
"I'm never putting a helm of telepathy on again." -- Jacer (Fox)
"That was a helm of telepathy?" -- Sage (Luna)
"Two orcs, one waterskin." -- Kirk
"Better than barrelgirl." -- Doug
"I've been adventuring all my life. I adventured out of my momma and
haven't stopped since." -- Jacer (Fox)
"Thank you, dryer, you are a machine among men." -- Eoj
"What's the size after large? Gargantuan, right?" -- Eoj
"No, it's huge. Then gargantuan, then colossal, then colossal plus, then
colossal plus plus, then ladies' XL." -- Doug