.:Chapter 1: Infernal Callings:.
"She had a chastity belt, but the power of my manhood rusted right through
it!" -- Bladebite (Kirk)
"You think those are pointy? Check out these! *grabs the tips of his ears*" --
Skooj (Luna)
"Well those go out to asshole infinity." -- Skarlani (NPC)
"Step forward if you have alive children. A-ah, not so fast." -- Joseph (Eoj)
"Did any of you have a dream about a Cthulhu meatloaf?" -- Hoon (Doug)
"Why? Why? Why?" -- NPC
"Is it Nancy Kerrign?" -- Bailey
"The apocolypse is nigh!" -- NPC
"No, no, according to our most recent calculations, that's at least 2 weeks
from now." -- Phineas (Kirk)
"Are you a steamjack?" -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Not yet." -- Phineas (Kirk)
"I fully expect you to survive. *wink*" -- Belloq (NPC)
"Yeah, yeah, I can do that too. *eye twitching* 'Cept I can't stop." -- Skooj
(Luna)
"You are a tampon of honour." -- Bailey
"How will you walk the path of ash?" -- NPC
"Intact, please." -- Phineas (Kirk)
"The Reclaimers." -- Phineas (Kirk)
"I thought they said the Proclaimers." -- Fox
"They'll walk 500 miles... to kill your ass." -- Luna
*long, involved description of a frail old man* -- Ken
"Easy XP!" -- Eoj
"I'm sorry my religion makes sense on paper." -- Phineas (Kirk)
"1, 2, Mindslasher's comin' for you. 3, 4, locking the door...won't help." -- Fox
"5, 6, get your Menafix?" -- Luna
"Animals weren't the only thing that scooted back then!" -- Doug
"We've got Gobber ribs for dinner tonight! How ya like 'dem baby backs?" --
Doug
"Your friends and family pass through your mind. It takes a couple hours."
-- Doug, on Skooj dying
"Fuck your quotes. ...quote that." -- Bailey
*Joe's character is a psychologist*
"I think you should see a doctor." -- Bastian (Joe)
"Ah, a real doctor." -- Kimball (Bailey)
*Joseph is rended limb from limb by a monster*
"I don't have to pay him back!" -- Bailey, triumphantly
*Joe's character is a dread witch*
"A paladin would be good." -- Ken
"You get healing, you get fighting." -- Bailey
"And we get someone who's immune to fear effects. We can use that to
beat up Joe's character. How ya like it, huh? How ya like it? *slapping
motion*" -- Kirk
*Hoon's arm is ripped off*
"Skooj picks it up and uses it as a club. 'I'm hitting better with your arm than
you were!'" -- Fox
"The town is under marshal law." -- Ken
"That's bad." -- Joe
"But you get free sprinkles." -- Ken
"That's good!" -- Joe
"But the sprinkles are also cursed." -- Ken
"That's bad." -- Joe
"What's with the big hole in the top of the tower?" -- Bastian (Joe)
"Oh, uh, I was field-testing the Vanar Liberator." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Oh, um, yes." -- Bastian (Joe)
"This is a shit sandwich and we're going to take a bite out of this." -- Kimball
(Bailey)
"Are these magical creatures?" -- Doug
"What, the jerky?" -- Luna
*at the brothel*
"And in the mean time... *puts down 50 crowns* A whore for this man!" --
Skooj (Luna)
"Huh? *gets dragged off by whores*" -- Hoon (Doug)
*to Hoon* "Oh my, a one-armed man. Well, I know you didn't do it." -- NPC
"It's all outside on a cart for you." -- NPC
"Falls off the cart. 'Hey, free stuff!'" -- Eoj
"There's some unholy matrimony, no, wait, that's marriage." -- Eoj
"She's the heal-me monkey. *monkey noise* D8+1." -- Bailey
*steps on one of 13 dead rats outside his room*
"Rats." -- Skooj (Luna)
"And tell Belloq to suck my left belloq." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"I got stepped on by the ugly tree!" -- Hoon (Doug)
"So what did you eat that was different from what everyone else?" --
Kimball (Bailey)
"A baby." -- Fox
"I have nowhere else to go." -- Nicola (Luna)
"What are you, some kind of orphan or something?" -- Kimball (Bailey)
"...well... yes, actually." -- Nicola (Luna)
.:Chapter 2: The Faceless:.
"From inside the mech you hear in a raspy voice..." -- Ken
"I will fuck you." -- Bailey
"That's not a steamjack, that's a space station!" -- Bailey
"I'm aware of my surroundings." -- Liz, drunk, on el phone
"I'm usually aware of my surroundings too. It's usually half-deep in a
hooker's ass." -- Kirk
"I've got a disease, and the only cure is more cockblock!" -- Bailey & Kirk
"You appear to have a blindfolded boy attached to your back." -- Kimball
(Bailey)
"These things happen." -- Decklan (Fox)
"What's in this pipe? Crap?" -- Decklan (Fox)
"Tobacco." -- Bastian (Joe)
"Tastes like crap." -- Decklan (Fox)
"No, this is what crap tastes like. *prestidigitation*" -- Bastian (Joe)
"Fuck. I need a good hunk of meat." -- Decklan (Fox)
*refering to Skooj* "I lost my projectile weapon when it got kidnapped." --
Hoon (Doug)
"Ya think Kimball has helmet wings?" -- Bailey
"You've probably seen my balls, haven't you?" -- Kirk
"Yeah, I have." -- Eoj
"They're cool, aren't they?" -- Kirk
"Out of game, what did they mine here?" -- Doug
"Fish." -- Fox
"She's dead, Kim." -- Fox
"Das putin tutin." -- Doug
"What's the makeup of the shaft? Is it smooth?" -- Kirk
"Know what my asylum smells like? Urine." -- Bastian (Joe)
*to Joe* "You take 19 depravity." -- Ken
*Kirk gets up and does a jig*
"Nicola's machine shop is working on a new chassis." -- Phineas, revealing
Nicola's pregnancy
*to Decklan* "That infernal blood's really dicking you in the ass, isn't it? Not
that yer not used to it, but..." -- Skooj (Luna)
"The articulated joint's connected to the, socket. The socket's connected to
the, cortex. The cortex's connected to my, penis. And that's the way Cyriss
works." -- Phineas (Kirk), singing
"Oh god, my porn!" -- Hoon (Doug)
"We don't like you cause you're green." -- Bailey
"It ain't easy." -- Skooj (Luna)
"My dreams of purchasing a fish have been dashed!" -- Skooj (Luna)
"If you let me take 'corrupted' as my swollen foe." -- Eoj
"You mean sworn foe?" --Luna
"I finally beat off my... negatives to intelligence." -- Eoj
*everyone errupts into laughter*
"Fine. Eliminated." -- Eoj
"You pooped out your stupid!" -- Luna
"Hoon and a Trollkin get into a willy-waving contest. Hoon shows his and the
Trollkin just chuckles and says, 'Do I have to show you all of it or just enough
to win?'" -- Ken
"Black is so out! *shoots Hoon*" -- High Captain Waernuk, as portrayed by
Doug
"I'm gonna eat ramen!" -- Bailey
"7 galleons." -- Ken
"Wow, that's expensive ramen!" -- Bailey
*to Hoon* "Way to go, Strong Sad." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Did you happen to see where they went?" -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Out the door." -- NPC
"Aren't we still employed by them?" -- Hoon (Doug)
"They already paid us." -- Skooj (Luna)
"It is time to be doing the dance!" -- Wolfe (Edgar)
"You just drank liquid man!" -- Ken
"I'm running on sheer WTF by this point." -- Luna
"I drank a dead guy." -- Doug
"It has the ability to suck taint." -- Fox
"You look like a walking study in oncology. That's right, I said you're covered
in tumors! Who reads books? Skooj reads books!" -- Skooj (Luna)
"There's a great white-green aura around you... wait, it's... *looks down at
Skooj's crotch* Aah!" -- NPC Seer
"*covers crotch* Yeah, don't look directly at it." -- Skooj (Luna)
*to Alys*
"I dunno, maybe you could put a little makeup on? *eyes widen in fear* I
WAS SO KIDDING!" -- Kimball (Bailey)
*referring to Kimball, who is with Alys*
"We'll come back later when he doesn't have that man with him." -- NPC
Gangers
"Someone failed their spot roll." -- Decklan (Fox)
"I'll just flick one out to ya." -- Kimball (Bailey) to Alys
"Alys, stand down." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Can't. I'm wearing a bodice." -- Alys (NPC, Ken)
"That's fantastic. I love it when Elves die." -- Bailey
.:Chapter 3: Dearly Beloved:.
"Roses are red, bruises are blue. Aw fuck it, I don't know anyone named
Angel." -- Kimball's (Bailey) apology poem to Alys
"Skooj, my grandfather was a sailor. That has nothing to do with what we're
talking about, so let's get going." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"What's with the poop hat?" -- Ken
"It is time to be doing the training! Wolfe, you help. Wait, I am Wolfe, you
are Dodge. Dodge, you come with." -- Wolfe (Edgar)
"Meow." -- Eoj's cat, Link, sitting in his seat while Eoj is away at Knight
Realms.
"Shut up, Griffin!" -- Dodge (Fox)
*on Alys*
"For any other girl, I'd suggest candy. Get her a sword." -- Skooj (Luna)
"A bouquet." -- Wolfe (Edgar)
"A bouquet of swords!" -- Skooj (Luna)
"Sword chucks!" -- Wolfe (Edgar)
"That's stupid! Sword chucks are stupid and you're stupid!" -- Skooj (Luna)
"That's a bad idea and you should feel bad!" -- Fox
*still on Alys*
"Fear alone should keep me at her side." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Ah, there ain't nothing like crazy sex! I'm Napoleon!" -- Bailey
"We could build a new Phineas!" -- Griffin (Eoj)
"Make him better, faster, stronger. He's the six million gold piece man!" --
Ken
"Okay, everybody, Hoon's being positive. Everybody make peace with your
gods." -- Skooj (Luna)
"You + infernals x your church = more infernal power. Infernals > your
FACE." -- High Captain Riordan (NPC), to Phineas
"How'd you manage to step on your dick? You didn't even have one!" -- Hoon
(Doug)
"Turn your steam jack off." -- NPC
*to Phineas* "'Jack, off." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"*reaches into backpack, removes cortex, hands cortex to Kimball, leans
forward as if turned off*" -- Phineas (Kirk)
"I've never seen a 'jack commit suicide before. It's kind of depressing." --
NPC
"Freudian slut much?" -- Joe, slipping freudianly
*a cannister is flying for the boat*
"SUMMON HORSE! *throws arms into the air*" --Eoj
*Skooj fails a tumble and is caught upside down in the middle of a barbed
wire fence*
"Skooj, quit fuckin' around." -- Kimball (Bailey)
"Yanno I got a girl back home, but what happens in Cryx stays in Cryx." --
Skooj (Luna)
"We'll talk about that later. *drops Skooj*" -- Eden (Joe)
"You remind me of a young me. Prepared to be crushed by life." -- Hoon
(Doug)
"Darkvision activate!" -- Eoj
*silence*
"SUCK MY DICK!" -- Fox
"It wasn't like orphan slaughter city." -- Skooj (Luna)
"Well, it is Five Fingers." -- Dodge (Fox)
"14?" -- Luna
"15?" -- Fox
"Chewy?" -- Eoj
"*points to heart* I'm missing something here." -- Hoon (Doug)
"...and it's Sully." -- Doug
"How much books can I get with 90 royals?" -- Decklan (Fox)
"She can't get up without getting mollywhomped." -- Joe
"Mollywhomped?" -- Luna
"It's a technical term." -- Joe
"Who's the better woman?" -- Eden (Joe)
"Is it me?" -- NPC Widowmaker
"No... It's me." -- Eden (Joe)
"I thought the Khadoran countryside would be less... indoors!" -- NPC
Widowmaker (very insane)
*Dodge kills tumbling rogue with AoO*
"You killed Mr. Tumbleface!" -- Ken
"I picture Kathol-Wheep sitting there, 'He killed Mr. Tumbleface! He will die
first!' *points at Dodge*" -- Luna
*funny thing is, Dodge did die. First.*