"I don't even get a hug? I hate you!" -- Liz
"I don't even get a hug? I hate you!" -- Qleppy
"Hey! Where's my hummer?!" -- Kirk
"'Cause lightning is mysterious like that... If lightning had a physical
manifestation it would wear a top hat, a mask, and have a handlebar
mustache. 'Cause it's mysterious like that." -- Kirk
"Alcoholism is like a monkey on your back with a shotgun." -- Fox
"My impression of Kirk peeing off the Golden Gate Bridge: 'Man this water's
cold. And deep.'" -- Ken
"Bahamut is now known as the eater of bad PCs. Subsisting on a steady diet
of Sturbridges and Bryants." -- Kirk
"Ow, you delicious Asian bastard!" -- Mike, yelling at spilled green tea
"I AM GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH GOD'S COCK!" -- Bailey, on Templars
"The rape didn't come out so good..." -- Eoj
"Oh Michael Caine, I want to snuggle and bake cookies with you." -- Joe
"The more faithful you are, the more Morrow's likely to go, 'Hey guy, you're
awesome. Here's a donut.'" -- Ken
"Oh, sweet, is this like the Morrowan eucharist? Because this is awesome."
-- Luna
"No, just a delicious donut. A delicious Morrowan treat. 'Lo, eat the donut,
for it represents my flesh. Hey, you're supposed to wait 'til I'm done.'" --
Ken
"Oh, sorry, it's just so holyicious." -- Luna
"'Did thou notice that it is glazed, for the glaze represents how sweet I am.
For I am totally awesome. And also notice how some are filled with jelly,
which represents how sweet I am on the inside and the outside, for I am
boss.'" -- Ken
"What is this, the church of Jingo Brandybuck?" -- Luna
*Ken and Doug are helping Luna move, driving behind her to a storage
building, with Luna's... illicit goods in Ken's backseat*
"Imagine if the two of us got pulled over. Two men driving in a sedan.
'You ain't some of those queer-o-sexuals, is ya?'
'No, sir.'
'What's in the bag?'
'Dildoes and gay porn, sir.'
'What's in the trunk?'
'Hand-painted pewter miniatures, sir.'
'I'm gonna have to ask you boys to step out of the car.'" -- Ken and Doug